Freshman Year

"It's fun to stick things in your orifices as long as there's no irrevocable damage." —Jess

"My elbow feels so nice and pointy this way." —Miriam

"I could sail to Europe if I wanted to. My parents sailed to Flordia." —Ally

"People thought dinosaurs were really stupid, but they weren't." —Honace

"If we went to the moon we'd feel really tall, and then we'd come back to earth and feel really stupid." —Ally

"I think I'm going through menopause." —Odette, 18 years old

"Republicans are right!" —Devon

"The recent rise in homosexuality is due to the rise in use of margerine." —Herb the singing chiropractor

"Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's ass." —God

Sophomore Year

"Every time I go to the bathroom, I feel like I'm in a Walt Disney porno." —Odette

[crashing pans]
Ally: "What the fuck is going on in the kitchen?"
Odette: "Stacy's just getting a glass of water."
Ally: "Oh. Okay."

"I think it's amazing that we can function as human beings. I mean, it could be worse; we couldn't be able to eat." —Chitra

"I'm sorry: I drank coffee. I'm just a nuisance while everyone's taking a shower." —Odette

"I love how water just flows from the Earth." —Ally

"Oh my God, it's Arizona! There's plenty of Jews in Arizona." —Ally

"I like chem lab." —Odette

"Babysitting is the best form of birth control." —Odette

"You know what you should do? Save your Dr. Pepper cans and make something." —Miriam

"I don't think about sex anymore. I just think about chemistry." —Ally

"I think we've seen enough pussy today, let's go for some cock." —Odette

"I'm scared to stop eating. I could starve to death! Is no one else here scared to starve to death!?!" —Ally

"It's all...It's all...It's all stupid fucking potatoes." —Ally

"Do I look like Andre the Giant to you?" —John

"We're just as stupid!" —Miriam

Odette: "Buuurrrrrrrrrrrrp..."
Girl in Airshaft: "Good grief!"

"You can't take chapstick off. You think you can, but you can't. You have to shave your lips off." —John

"What!? Pregnant women don't shower!" —Odette

"Paper doesn't catch fire, does it?" —Stacy

"One day, we're gonna jump out of sex, having airplanes." —Christian

Ally: "Cheeze-Its make you turn colors."
Stacy: "What are you saying? I don't look like a Cheeze-It."
Ally: "Well, sometimes you do."

"What do they speak in Egypt? Hieroglyphics?" —Odette

"Jews and Blacks used to be friends!" —Ally

"You're making fun of his testes?! The boy's got a tail!" — Ally

"I'm gonna rock out to the Backstreet Boys, 'cause they sex you up." —Odette

"This song is—if you'll pardon the terminology—a faggy song for a guy." —Odette

"That'll teach you to read ahead, you dumb bitch!" —Ally

"Okay, wait, can't I do my monkey!?" —Miriam

"If I was Buffy, I'd go slay Poindexter's ass. It's probably hairy." —Odette